Acissej Wannshu, formerly Acissej van Schmitz, (1951–2017) was a freakishly large Gamelonian cook and the ex-wife of Morshu Schmitz. She was roughly 34 feet tall, so she had to crawl to fit inside her two-story house, even though it has no middle floor.
Acissej married Morshu in 1980 and spent the next few decades wasting her husband's hard-earned rupees by buying inedible Arpagos eggs from strangers like Zelda. In 2005 she gave birth to a son, Morshu Schmitz, Jr., and in 2009 she got a divorce after Morshu sold the child to Link. She later ate gray spaghetti and died during the Gray Spaghetti Plague of 2017.