Billy Mays is a billion perverts.
|Age||51 years (at "death")|
|Appearances||TV advertisements, YouTube Poop, South Park|
|Favorite Things||Drugs, violence, sex.|
|Embodied Personalities||None known.|
Billy Mays was born as William Entervev Mayshuvantsaya in 1958. He changed his name after escaping prison in 1975, then went on to sell stuff on television. He died due to drug-related causes in 2009, but when King Harkinian discovered Majora's Mask, it resurrected him. He then sold Link the Master Sword 9000. He died permanently in 4444 when he lost a battle with Ultimate Weegee.
He has been accused of supplying the King with magic drugs, and he has destroyed property and ran over kids. He once tried to kill Morshu for competing with him, but Morshu tricked him into killing Evil Morshu instead. He then tried to frame Jack Black for the murder, but this failed and he was sent to prison again.
- Big City Toilet
- Suicide Patty
- Suicide Putty
- Suicide Ladder
- Triforce of Wisdom
- Ding King
- Cheese Insurance
- The Virus
See Billy Mays/Gallery.
- "I love beautiful wood. Don't you?"
- "You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!"
- "No more squishin' and squashin'!"
- "You shittin' me?"
- "But wait, there's more!"
- "Are you on the ball?"
- "First you fly, then you die!"
- "It has the power to break down your shower and leaves a path of ass!"
- "Billy Mays is scoring with your mom!"
- "Ordinary people are a f--king mess!"
- "The only tears you'll cry are tears of agonizing discomfort!"
- He has a bazooka.
- He suffers from explosive diarrhea.
- He once tried to sell himself.
- He may be an illegitimate son of Ruigario, which would make him Mario's half-brother.
- His butthole can function as an electrical outlet. Convenient, isn't it?
- He will beat your entire family to death with a bucket of Oxy-Clean for just $19.99.
- He can please up to 47 million moms simultaneously. Don't ask how.
- He will mail 47 million cobras to your family.
- He once appeared on South Park.