Wumbologist's Theory of Evolution
According to Wumbologists, humans first came from caterpillars over 81 million years ago. They then had children that were fish, and they learned how to walk on land, becoming Yoshies and then Koopas. This was the high point of evolution. Then they devolved into humans, barbaric, selfish little brats that would kill anything for non-dinner purposes, just because they think they are better than each other.
Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolution
According, to Charles Darwin, each creature has a different chance of survival. The ones with the best traits that help them survive to have kids will be able to pass those traits down on to their kids; the ones that die will be dead ends.
Mrs. Garrison's Theory of Evolution
This claims that a retard fish had kids who became retard frog monkeys who are your parents.