Fàri Haradox
Vital statistics
Occupation Bodyguard, soldier, police officer.
Name Fàri Haradox
Age 55 years (at death)
Appearances Zelda: Wand of Gamelon, YouTube Poop.
Friends Mayor Kravindish, Zelda, Malleo.
Enemies King Harkinian, Duke Onkled, Ganon, Link.
Hometown Randómalìa, Spain.
Relatives Unknown.
Favorite Things Hay, treason, taking people away.
Embodied Personalities Falle.

Fàri Haradox (1960–2015) is a Spanish-Hylian mercenary who eats birds, babies, and Yoshi eggs. He is King Harkinian's bodyguard, executioner, head of security, and future murderer. He is also the chief of the Hyrule City Police Department.


Fari gets what's coming to him.

Fari was born in Spain in 1960 while his parents, who lived in Hyrule, were on vacation there. The infamous Dr. Rabbit happened to be touring Europe at the time and wound up accidentally killing Fari's parents on purpose, leaving him stranded. He ended up eating his sister, and then grew up and decided to join Viacom.

By the 80's, Fari had made his way to Hyrule, where he became chief minion to Duke Onkled of Gamelon. In 1993 Fari turned against Duke Onkled when the duke joined Ganon, and after Ganon's defeat, King Harkinian hired Fari as head of security at Hyrule Castle. Over many years of service, Fari became infatuated with the King's daughter Zelda, and he eventually tried to eliminate his romantic competition by tricking Gwonam into landing his carpet in a minefield with Link on board. Link survived, but Fari subsequently became Zelda's boyfriend anyway.

When Zelda revealed her new boyfriend to the King, however, he disapproved and forbid the relationship. Fari and Zelda continued to meet in secret while the King was away, but Link soon caught them having sex and told Gwonam, who told the King, who responded by firing Fari and banishing him from Hyrule Castle. Fari obeyed the King, but subsequently took revenge on him by seizing his dinner. He also teamed up with Mayor Kravindish to organize a revolt against the King; unfortunately for him, they chose a bad time to march on Hyrule Castle, arriving just as the King and his allies were saving all of Eluryh from evil birds. Fari tried to keep the mob together, but everyone except him subsequently joined the King in an impromptu rock concert.


Fari was imprisoned for his actions during the bird crisis, but was eventually released and reinstated as Hyrule City's chief of police, largely because nobody else wanted the job. Then, when the Form Wars began, Fari sympathized with the forms. In 2015, he betrayed and killed the King. He then opened a passage to the United 'Gees Universe for the forms before being killed by the King's ghost.


Fari's reaction to his article.


  • "Here's the traitor, your majesty!"
  • "Yes, my liege."
  • "Hey!"
  • "Duke Onkled betrayed the king!"
  • "I'll make sure he doesn't get away!"
  • "Off to visit your mother"
  • "I'm the traitor! Now die!"
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