Lord Gaben
Gabe Newell

Gabe L. Newell (born 1962) is the developer of many Valve games like Half-Life. He seems to be the enemy of the Final Gaben Team. He has 100,000 health.

Political Career

Gabe Newell ran for president of the United States as a member of the Dank Memes Party in 2020, basing his campaign around the claim that the third installment of the World War series would never have been released if he had been president earlier.


According to Poopism, he will defeat a brainwashed Shigeru Miyamoto with Half-Life 3. He also has his own religion known as Gabenism.


  • "After nine years in development, hopefully it will have been worth the wait/weight."
  • "Thanks, and have fun."
  • "This isn't working."
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