Lord Gaben
Gabe Newell

Gabe L. Newell (born 1962) is the developer of many Valve games like Half-Life. He seems to be the enemy of the Final Gaben Team. He has 100,000 health.

Political Career

Gabe Newell ran for president of the United States as a member of the Dank Memes Party in 2020, basing his campaign around the claim that the highly-unpopular third installment of the World War series would never have been released if he had been president earlier.


According to Poopism, he will defeat a brainwashed Shigeru Miyamoto with Half-Life 3. He also has his own religion known as Gabenism.


  • "After nine years in development, hopefully it will have been worth the wait/weight."
  • "Thanks, and have fun."
  • "This isn't working."
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