Harkinian Relatives

I don't see the resemblance.

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The Harkinian family consists of basically everyone related to King John Harkinian of Hyrule. It goes back as far as Mhar the caveman.

Distant Ancestors

Mhar's grandpa

Main Article: Mhar's Grandpa

Mhar was the real first member of the Harkinian family, and that’s actually it! and its Mama Luigi to you everyone!


Main Article: Mhar

Mhar was the first member of the Harkinian family who lived more than a few thousand decades ago. He invented dinner and the word oah.


Main Article: Neolithe

The first person to use wheat. Also the first person to get high on something other than mushrooms.

Hylius Maesar

Main Article: Hylius Maesar

The first Harkinian to a be a monarch. He invented the fork, and later invented the spork.

Arthur Harkinian

Main Article: Arthur Harkinian

The first Hylian to eat spaghetti and use the saying "Mah Boi."

Howard Harkinian

Main Article: Howard Harkinian

The greatest King and father at one. He made school free in Hyrule.

George Harkinian

Main Article: George Harkinian

The first Hylian to wear actual shoes. Also the first to use the word ship.


Billy Bob Harkinian

Main Article: Billy Bob Harkinian

A very dumb grandfather to King Harkinian. Also had chest hand syndrome.

Grampa Harkinian

Main Article: Grampa Harkinian

Inventor of sneakers and the chocolate egg. Also the King's favorite grandfather.

Gramma Harkinian

Main Article: Gramma Harkinian

A good mother of the King's mom. Nobody knows her real name, except everybody.

Uncles, Aunts, and Parents

Hardy Harkinian

Main Article: Hardy Harkinian

A famous actor in movies. Then became a radio chatter.

Laurel Harkinian

Main Article: Laurel Harkinian

Famous Hylian soldier.

Auntie Harkinian

Main Article: Auntie Jones

King Harkinian's favorite aunt. He was given lotsa chocolate by her.

Harold Harkinian

Main Article: Harold Harkinian

The King's officially-recognized "father" who raised him until his death. Was the king of Hyrule at the time of John's birth and accomplished many things, including the founding of the Time Travel Police.

Joseph Harkinian

Main Article: Joseph Harkinian

The King's hippie uncle and the father of Duke Onkled. Was the last ruler of Hyrule before John's coronation.

Leonard Harkinian

Main Article: Leonard Harkinian

The King's somewhat trusty biological father. Told his son everything he needed to know about dinner, mah boi, and AIDS.

Clythia Jones

Main Article: Clythia Harkinian

King Harkinian's very old mother. Although she was married to Harold Harkinian, the King wasn't conceived until she had an affair with Harold's brother Leonard. She died when the King slapped her.

John's Generation

John Harkinian

Main Article: King John Harkinian

The memetical king of Hyrule, father of Zelda, and subject of this wiki.

Minh Harkinian

Main Article: Minh Harkinian

The King's older brother who lives in Vietnam.

Nainikrah Harkinian

Main Article: Nainikrah

The King's evil brother and founder of HEVS.

Nerdwin Harkinian

Main Article: Nerdwin

The King's geeky and socially awkward brother.

Johnjohn Harkinian

Main Article: Johnjohn

The King's brother who is even more obsessed with dinner and mah boi. Was killed when he failed a homicide.

Larry Harkinian

Main Article: Larry Harkinian

The King's best friend as a child.

Rod Harkinian

Main Article: Rodney Harkinian

John's very patriotic brother.

William Harkinian

Main Article: William Harkinian

The King's youngest brother, and the first to die.

Mario Harkinian

Main Article: Mario Harkinian

The King's stranger brother. Need I say more?

Onkled Harkinian

Main Article: Duke Onkled

The King's traitorous cousin.

Eric Harkinian

Main Article: Eric Harkinian

Duke Onkled's long-lost brother. Lives in the Windwaker Islands with a Link clone named Nlik.

Judy Harkinian

Main Article: Judy Harkinian

The King's somewhat ugly sister.

Katie Harkinian

Main Article: Katie

The King's youngest and favorite sister. Was kidnapped by I.M. Meen as a child.

Scott Harkinian

Main Article: Scott

Katie Harkinian's twin brother. Was also imprisoned by I.M. Meen.


Zelda Harkinian

Main Article: Zelda

The King's first and very important daughter.

Alma Harkinian

Main Article: Lady Alma

Duke Onkled's daughter.

Luigi Harkinian

Main Article: Luigi Harkinian

Mario Harkinian's adoptive son.


Ganon, Jr.

Main Article: Ganon, Jr.

Zelda's illegitimate son.

Harold Harkinian, Jr.

Main Article: Harry Harkinian

Link and Zelda's first child, and the king's first legitimate grandson.

Robby Harkinian

Main Article: Robby Harkinian

Another grandson of the king.

Anakin Harkinian

Main Article: Anakin Harkinian

The king's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson. He turned evil and became Darth Harkinian.

Distant Relatives

Mario and Co.

Main Article: Mario's Family

Share a common ancestor together.


Main Article: Link

Zelda's friend and savior, as well as the father of Harry and Robby.


Main Article: Impa

Zelda's grandmother and the King's kooky mother-in-law.

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