|"Scatman" John Larkin|
You will die.
|Name||"Scatman" John Larkin|
|Age||65 years (at death)|
|Appearances||Music videos, Super Mario 64 Bloopers, YouTube Poop.|
|Friends||Morshu, Mama Luigi|
|Enemies||King Harkinian, Link, Fat Mario, Gay Luigi|
|Hometown||El Monte, California, United States|
|Favorite Things||Singing, crucifixion|
|Embodied Personalities||John Scatman, Batman John.|
"Scatman" John Larkin was born on March 13, 1942 and became a popular singer on Earth before he faked his death and moved to Hyrule in 1999. He met King Harkinian, who later hired Scatman to prevent him from using the newly-invented Dinner Blaster excessively. He failed at this in 2007, and the King was briefly lost. Before the King returned, Scatman disguised himself as the King and came up with a plot for Link to be crucified on a cross. He revealed himself and ordered for Link to die. After watching a YouTube Poop of the "Mama Luigi" episode, Scatman more specifically ordered Link to be crucified.
As Link was about to die, he screamed for help, drawing the attention of Fat Mario and Gay Luigi. After Mario and Luigi agreed to save Link, Scatman pulled out a cannon and fired at the brothers, but Mario deflected a projectile with his mirror. The blast hit the cannon, causing Scatman to fall into the water, which made the bros. think Scatman died. However, Scatman survived the crash and climbed up to the castle's balcony, stating, "You will Die!!!" and started breathing like Darth Vader, but Mario pulled out his secret weapon: TOAST! He threw it at Scatman's head, causing him to lose balance and plummet to his death. Scatman later escaped from the pit and became a ghost. His corpse was briefly revived as a zombie by Fake King during the Ephedia Civil War in 2025, although with black pupils due to not having a soul thanks to his ghost escaping it.
- Morshu often pretends to be the Scatman.
- He once was a pooper scooper. That's why he's called the Scatman.
- He always wears a hat, even in the afterlife.