Zelda Harkinian
Zelda smirking.
Vital statistics
Occupation Princess, warrior.
Name Zelda Harkinian
Age 29 years.
Appearances Link: Faces of Evil, Zelda: Wand of Gamelon, YouTube Poop.
Friends Link, King Harkinian, Impa
Enemies Ganon, Duke Onkled, Lady Alma
Hometown Hyrule City, Gomalan
Relatives John Harkinian (father) Tylda Harkinian (mother) Weegee (grandfather) Impa Jones (grandmother) Minh Harkinian (uncle) Nainikrah Harkinian (uncle) Link Screeb (husband) Harold Harkinian, Jr. (son) Ganon, Jr. (son)
Favorite Things Killing Hectan, breaking mirrors
Embodied Personalities Bizarro Zelda
Zelda Harkinian (1985–2030) is King Harkinian's daughter and the hero of Gamelon.


You're not hungry

Zelda gets annoyed by Link.

Zelda Harkinian was born to King John Harkinian and his wife on October 10, 1985. Due to the King's drunkenness and general irresponsibility, the Queen hired Zelda's grandmother, Impa, to help raise Zelda. Around the time Zelda turned eight, her mother died, and Ganon attacked Koridai and Gamelon. She went with Impa to save Link and her father, and actually succeeded. In the 2000s, she became a famous actress in YouTube Poop. She also served as the acting monarch of Hyrule on multiple occasions when the King was either out of the country or deposed for some reason. Her longest reign in this capacity lasted a whole year, during which the King was busy marketing his poop in Japan. Zelda married Link in 2012, and they had children soon after that.


Distorted Zelda

Zelda, about to explode.

Zelda is a blonde, blue-eyed elf who wears a blue vest and a sleeveless purple undercoat, as well as lighter purple pants with a belt. She also wears a small crown, which is either blue or purple, depending on how closely the animators were paying attention. Her breasts are extremely small—almost to the point of being completely flat—and she often gets mocked for this by people like Link, Morshu, Goronu, and even her father.



Zelda facepalming.



Zelda usually seems lonely and ungrateful to Link, and is often very shy. On rare occasions, however, she acts as a warrior to help her father get back home. Sometimes, she even takes pleasure in killing people, especially Hectan. She tends to act like a dictator whenever she assumes a leadership role in her father's absence, using threats of violence and other strong-arm tactics to make people do what she wants. She also takes YouTube Poop very seriously, and briefly disowned King Harkinian when he tried to stop using poop memes. While she is significantly more intelligent than the average Hylian, she never received a proper education and is very bad at even basic math; for example, she can't seem to figure out how many weeks are in a month. She usually acts less perverted than most of the CD-i characters, but often does stuff such as watching Elmer Fudd porn when she thinks nobody is watching.

Relations with Other Characters


Zelda has something in her eye.


Link and Zelda are good friends, but occasionally King Harkinian has told her to "screw Link." Things have been going downhill since then.

King Harkinian

Zelda sometimes has trouble with her father, sometimes because her father wanted to OAH her. This made Zelda try to sue her father, but there were no prosecutors in Hyrule until 2006, so she didn't even bother. Despite this, they are very friendly to each other.


Impa is Zelda's favorite grandmother. Impa often goes on journies with her, but things have gone downhill since the release of the Nintendo 64.

Lady Alma


Bodiless Zelda.

Lady Alma is claimed to be Zelda's best friend, but there are some troubles between the two. For example, Zelda broke her mirror against the wall.


Zelda was once raped by Ganon, creating Ganon, Jr. Thus, Zelda was forced to deal with Ganon. She's always hated him.

Duke Onkled

Zelda finds Duke Onkled annoying and calls him a "fat f--ker," which is likely due to the fact that he once tried to convince Zelda to f--k him.



Zelda looks at the floor.

  • "You've got to be kidding."
  • "Why'd you do that?"
  • "You did not."
  • "Ha!"
  • "But father, what if something happens to you?"
  • "Impa!"
  • "A whole month gone, and still no word."
  • "Link, go to Gamelon and find my father."
  • "Wake up, Impa. We're going to Gamelon."
  • "Really?"
  • "Good."
  • "You better talk fast!"
  • "Father!"
  • "I wonder what happened to Link?"
  • "Stop looking at yourself."
  • "Nothing, Link."
  • "We were just about to have a feast."
  • "No."
  • "Let's go fight Ganon's evil legions."
  • "You fat f---"
  • "You're not my father."
  • "Go to Gamelon and die."
  • "I know."
  • "Let's go fight Weegee's evil legions."
  • "Father, what happened to you?"
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